被爱是辛苦的。 爱一个人才是辛副的。 hahas. i think no 1 can see wad i wrote. which is wad i planned. lol. im crapp.
[quiltnarrowpassfuelbitterparticle. narrowdoctoreachbenevolencetimberfuelfloatparticle.]
ahhahas. i doubt any1 can decode this. lol. [anet. dun even try to] yahhs. hmm. cos 1 at least will affect u riite. den the other wun lorr. so its lyk. wads the point if it doesnt affect u n u dun feel a single thing. its boring lorr. yahhs. so im still sticking to this theory. umm. ok. my theory. the theory which hui kuoon finally agreed to. anw. the best is if there's both lahhs. but dat hardly happens. so. hmm. n its lyk i cnt exactly force myself. i tot i cld. nw i noe i cnt. kinda knew it all along. juz didnt admit it only. cos it was so short. the last 1 was so long lorr. n it was so hard to walk away frm it. nw its lyk. nth. nth at all. sad riite. im so pathetic. i cnt believe things ended up so pathetic. 2 yrs ago u tell me this will hpn n i'll prob laugh lyk shit n tell u go n die. act i kinda only really realised it ytd. um. ok lahhs. i admitted it ytd. admitted it to myself. duhh. i didnt noe it still had dat effect on me. it was supposed to b over so long ago. im wrong. haiis. still cnt believe it. i cnt believe im dat pathetic.
its nt supposed to b this wayy. its supposed to b over. its nt supposed to last this long. wtf. im sick of it. i juz wan it to b over. but the more i wan it to b over the more it doesnt seem to go. the more i dun think abt it the worse it gets. wad? absense makes the heart grow fonder? its nt supposed to work this wayy. hahas. i gt so many not supposed not supposed.. i have sth dat most ppl wan. n i actually dun wan it. im insane. i used to want it. until i realised i cn do much beter without it. n i dun like it. i missed it. i missed the only chance. act. no. i missed the few chances. or maybe alot. hmm. i duno.
anw. im nt in dep yet. ahhahas. i dun think i'll b tonight. hahas. which is gd. im juz in the mood to think alot. i dunno lahhs. i dun gettit lorr. y i treat the 2 differently. its supposed to b same or at least ard the same treatment. but somehow its lyk. totally opp lorr. wth. i dun und y i act dat wayy either. its totally opp.
now listening to yuan dian. hahas. i feel lyk buyin jolin de vcd thg. but if i do i'll go broke. ohh wells. i'll still buy it de. so no point tellin myself its a waste of money. joan youqin sinyi hk tingyu shirmaine went to my hse today. cos they gt bored in j8 dn wanted to go home. hahas. n hui kuoon n her trumpet lahhs. so din deh. hahas. so end up laughing alot. n my dog loves joan. ahhahs.
anw. i realised wad my biggest fear is le. ok lahhs. its one of the biggest fear. n it has nth to do with cockroaches. really. i rather b stuck in a room of cockroaches den have dat thg hpn. uhh. maybe nt. hiyas. i dunno. but im v scared of dat lorr. cos dat is the biggest not supposed to hpn thg. n if it does. i dunno. i really really dunno. so many things r supposed to b liddat. but its all becoming not supposed to. dats y nw im sayin my life is pathetic. its upside dwn. the not supposed to r happening. n the supposed to r not. arghh. i doubt any1 cn read this n actually und half of wad im sayin. ahhahas. i think too much. but nw im hopin its cos im thinkin too much. cos i rather b thinkin too much den accepting reality.
suddenly im gg crazy over stupid philosophies n theories. n me n shimin keep comin up with our own theories. ahhas. last yr i used to put a few on my msn nick. but nw i 4gt all le. except the 1 in anet de blog. the it hurts to love u the way i do n look at u n realise dat u dun care. den gt all things will end up ok n if it doesnt den its nt the end yet. n it takes two hands to clap. n absense makes the heart grow fonder. n if i have h,r,t, i rather have u n gt hurt den e,a n get a heart without u. i think the last 1 is most meaningful. for nw lorr. my organiser gt alot. hahs. but nw lazy to flip open.
im so bored nw lorr. lucky cn bully my cousin. he's only 4 lahhs. n his cheeks r so tempting. ahhahas. the longest i lasted nt pinching his cheeks was 1 hr. den i started attackin it le. hahahs. den he keep insisting he wanna spike his hair. so vain. lol. den he make me spike for him. so i did. yuck. gel... n i did the tongxinyuan de dadi dat hairstyle. hahas. my cousin looks lyk a toot. lol. n his cheeks r still so tempting.... hmm. wadever. i go pinch cheeks le. ahhahahas. im so mean. ohh yahhs. ting yu said im nice lehhs. x)))) ahhahahahs. yah la. i noe lah, im nt. hahas.
