wth. this hol dun seem lyk a hol to me lahhs. n everythg's not ok. i noe i said everything will turn out ok. if it isnt den its not the end. now i gt so many probs to deal with. n i only have one week. n i have alot of hw. n eoy is lyk. so fast lorr. n chi gt alot of chpt. n still muz go back to sch on mon n wed. liddat my hol left with tue sat sun. n this is the 0st tym its hols i dun feel happy at all. usually on fri i'll b darn cheerful n jumpin ard. todayy im not. hmm. y muz we all grow up? y cnt we juz remain 13 or 14 forever. or remain as innocent 5 yr old kids. i love it when i was a child lahhs. its lyk everything u oso dunno. dn everythig is so dan cun lorr. dn u dunno bout all those bitching or backstabbing or wadever. n its lyk all u'll think of is play lahhs. dn u dun even need to go sch so u dun even need to think abt hw or exams. n u can spend ur tym running ard in the void decks. v tempting lorr. n y muz there b so many responsibilities as we grow older. dn now i have 3 thgs to think abt. i knew i shldnt have gone n read it lahhs.dn i still did. i dunno y. i already told myself. if i read it i'm damn dumb. n i still read it. its lyk. hello. how many tyms must i get hurt for it to finally sink in. so anw. yahh. i read it. n i realised sth shocking. hmm. but if its over dn she shld have a chance at it lorrs. so. i dunno lahhs. i wun go think abt it. yupps. i wun. nth will come out of it anw. but still. the feelings diff. lyk y we suddenly switch places n i didnt even realise it. lyk thgs cn happen when i least expect it. but i felt v guilty in the end. so i dunno. m i dat sort of person? haha. but anet said it was natural reaction. anw. its kinda obvious hu she meant lorr. the one hu got understood dat 1. yahhs. dn the other 2 prob ignts de. so. no comments. have to wait n see how lorr. n juz act complacent lorr. n unaffected. yahh. im gettin really gd at this. lol. dn other dn dat is those sch prob le. yahh. lyk those high level stress thgs. i really wan my tv now i need to stop thinkin bout my probs. i need to run away to somewhere agn. maybe the dumb cruise thg can actually help get thgs off my mind. cos it will at least be 3 problem free dayys. dn i can go there meditate or wadever. n relax. n shut my brain down. haha. its not lyk i can do anything else anw. so. yahh. maybe it wun b so dumb aft all. n the last tym i totally didnt wanna go cameron.. i ended up loving it. so maybe this tym will b the same. hopefully lahhs. lol. but i'm juz nt lookin foward to it. hahas.

i'll b acting unaffected. i believe i can do it.