uhhuh, sheesh. i've got lots of thgs to catch up on but i totally dun feel lyk doin so nw cos i've got a bad case of pms. n it aint reli called a pms cos it wasnt due to some mood swing but by some unmemorable specimen of deadly organism. rite. i do this evrytym i see him. its okay. i'll get over it. just give me mths to do so. n i promise, i will gt over it. oh fuck. here i go. i reli wish i hv some freakin ability to completely erase certain ppl frm my mind, but apparently tts so impossible, so im stuck with some memory of certain ppl. which sucks like some fucking shit. sometimes i wonder y i even bother. anw, i wldbt b lyk this rite nw if only i din go to a certain place n see a certain somethg. n of all times for it to happen it has to happen now. today. whn my chi is juz tml. okay, maybe im overreacting a little cos im freaking for my chi tml, but still, i deserve the right to direct some anger or irritation at some ppl. but i think i shldnt hv started writing abt this. cos nw i feel more pissed n im just losing it. e main pt is, i saw him. yupp. outside his sch. which btw, is outside my hse. so in other words, i saw him somewhere between his sch n my hse. n he's always complaining he has too much time. aw, poor guy. y nt go screw some ppl while ur at it. n wad's he doin near sch on a sunday. i reli shld pity him, he reli has too much time.
im sorry, but my mood wasnt even gd to start with. i noe wad im trying to do. i recognize this. im covering my hurt with anger. again. but heck.
anw, im gona start with my random thoughts so some ppl wun b able to gt it.

one.im wondering if im wasting my time. maybe i shldt do it. its as if im being nice. and to tt kind of bitch, i reli dun see e point. im wondering y im doin it. but anw, it feels so much better to call her a bitch.
two.i cant wait to get this all over n done with. den i can finally kiss ur ass goodbye n hopefully i'll nv eva see u agn for e rest of my life. it pains me to evn think abt u.
three.i wanna gt e whole chi olvl thg out of my system.
four.im kinda disappointed with myself cos every1 seems to b takin e chi stuff seriously but im lyk, reli givin up hope on my chi, n im reli worrying cos if this is my att den my entire o lvl is doomed. its as if my mind has completely shut of studying. maybe i've been studying too much for e past 9 yrs of my life n nw studyin doesnt seem to matter anymore.
five.im reli jealous. i admit it. ohgod. some1 slap me awake.
six.life just sucks right nw. n im wondering if this has anyth to do with freaking cos of chi tml.
seven.even if i did wanna study, i dunno hw. thou eugene has suggested readin tt peifeng thgy or wadeva it is, i dun think it'll hlp.
eight.im kinda.. hating some ppl right nw so dun disturb this peace.
nine.i sound lyk some bitch.
ten.i wanna chg evryth abt my life at this moment.
eleven.i suddenly had this fantasy tt me jol anet deb tingyu hk viv audrey eugene jiajun n all those ppl hu cld make me feel better went to e same sch. oh rite, n certain ppl went to a diff sch. haha, think tts called a wish.
twelve.i wish i had some motivation for my chi.

anw. i dun feel lyk gg on. but im reli freakin for my chi n im lyk, nt doin anyth abt it. so y do i evn freak in e 1st place. hmm. ohwell. nt lookin fwd to e concert alr. its gona suck. with wad life band and reli dumb performances. its reli gona b some failure. n prac e entire uppsec band ppl were nearly rioting on fri. kinda cool thou. n y is it tt b4 any big event we hv to cry. but its e most dep concert i've ever heard of. its so uncomparable to other concerts by other schs. hu has heard of sch songs at a public concert la. n e items there r lyk, for those sch performances. lyk wad thanksgiving or cny celebration stuff. its painful. but anw, lookin fwd to willian's ajc concert. which is e day aft chi olvl. heh. at least i'll go to a proper concert b4 participating at a lame 1. ohyah. i forgot to mention. jiajun treated me n deb bubbletea ytd n all e other seniors were complaining. x)) haha. anw, if any1 managed to fig out e ppl i was complaining abt up there, just shut up n pretend u din read anyth bout it.