im blogging from my sis's laptop. so freakin unfair tt she got it faster den me la. bdn this 1 is cheap de. heh heh. bdn its still damn good. its compaq la. i think apple's better? lol.

and the damned thing is that aft i slog my guts out for os i have to wait for the results b4 i can get a freakin laptop. just in case i go poly i'll have to use a certain specified range. so my dad told my grandpa not to buy 1st. meaning i'll have to wait till feb.

but anw. the good thing is that regardless of my result, my grandpa will still get me a laptop. and my mum's getting me a brand new piano. which means we'll have 2 laptops and a useless comp at home. such a waste right? my parents shld hv just saved money and not gotten my sis a laptop. solves all probs. haha.

k, its not exactly a secret that my current piano has beetles in it and has bugs all over and the keys are freaking out of tune and the piano key bounces. i mean like. hello. its an eleven yr old piano. not to mention that i spent the 1st few yrs of its lifespan destroying it cos i was coerced into learning it. i was like, 5 at that time.

anw. for ppl hu wanna noe, yoga is for people who want a clearer state of mind. to purify their body, mind and soul and yadayada. all that bullshit.

so i've found a job. and its a miserable 5 bucks per hr. and i'll gladly love the person who offers me 3 bucks an hr to do the dishes for them. seriously. i'd rather do anyth, even at the expense of my pay, to get out of working. it sucks la. and i haven even started. in the 1st place i dun even need the money la. im working just to get out of yoga. such a screwed up reason, with which only my parents are capable of.

and serves them rite that i have to work on public hols and fri sat suns. but good bye to my freedom and tubing and having fun. now im regrettin y i came back at 12 on tue. i shld hv stayed later. ohyah. anw, tue was nice. went to lyd's house. and quite alot of ppl turned up. ilya's damn sick. she's a malay but she loves tellin racist jokes. abt malays. i think she's seriously whacked. gg to st marg's has turned her dysfunctional.

so tml will b my last few chances to stay out late. ohwait. my last few chances of actually being able to go out. i sound like some whiny spoilt brat. haha. forget it. i'll show a certain some1 that im not spoilt. neither m i a brat. nor pampered. thou shall not complain nor whine nor show any signs of weakness. crap.

my fav phrase of the month:
one simply did not see what one chooses not to see and one simply did not hear what one chooses not to hear. deep huh. yeah right. haha. but it sounds damn nice.
i din feel like writin another entry. it sucks. it seriously sucks that u have to see ppl leave u n yet ur not able to do anyth abt it. if i liked that choice, or if i even choose that choice, i guess i'll b okay. but e thg is. i hate that choice. its a fact. i dunno wad im pissed or dep abt. im not angry at dem. im nt pissed tt they're gg in a diff direction. neither m i pissed at myself. thats e thg. i have nth to b pissed at. there's nth to b fucked up over. n i seriously need sth to b fucked up abt. i just need to blame sth. but e thg is there's nth at all for me to blame. its their choice. i cant hold a fucking knife at them and ask dem to agree with me. neither can i go for brain surgery and get my brain transplanted so i'll like the same thg as them. its just nt done. thats e thg tt sucks. not the fact that they're moving away. not e fact tt i'll b alone. more like the fact tt nth can be done. fine. take it that im spoilt. take it that i used to b able to have everyth i wan in my life and love it. so that now whn i cant do anyth but just sit back and cast some phoney deception to hide behind i find that it sucks. its one thg to not have it. its another to have it and den snatched away from u. i guess. whatever it is, i guess i just cant take to the fact that i have totally no control over this. n neither can i complain, whine, or throw a fucking tanthrum. all i can really do, is force my muscles to smile. cos anw. its nt like i'll ever admit to any1 what im feeling. i just know im feeling damn bad when youtube cant even cheer me up.