okay. frustrated, frustrated. i thought i wldnt be touching this damned thing for at least a few more months, but apparently im too frustrated, emo, sad, irritated, stressed, and i dunno. insert every bad emotion you can think of.

first off. my bloody spoilt cousin's going i-forgot-where but flying business class. hah, he's only 9. too young to remember anything. too young to even order alcohol. but nooo. he insists on going business class. damned that spoilt brat.

den, due to my sister's non stop blabbering one or two days ago, my dad decided to send us off overseas. flying tml. and he only asked me bout it this afternoon. okay. on one hand, it feels good to finally be living the glam life. and like, especially demanding for tickets last min and stuff. but like, i really have no idea where im going, what im doing. i only know im meeting some driver called mr hee or hu or sth at some foreign airport. independence.. comes with a price.

not to mention, i finally started studying today, and guess what. i have no idea what im doing. i cant do physics, i cant do math, i cant do econs. im gonna flunk my a levels. im gonna end up retaining. or gg overseas. where chances of that emilyrose thing happening wld be like high.

and i got so goddamn frustrated and stressed cos i cldnt do a single question. i turned depressed. and not to mention, you're so freaking far away. like, hundreds of miles away and stuff. and im gg off tml. grr. oh. but the fav ice cream flavour: the taste of licking your own elbow. hahaha. okay. im happy again.

ponning lecture tml. im seriously damn worried for this prelim 1. i dunno la. doubt i'll be so lucky this time to scrape through. i cant even bring myself to study. even with all those motivations. for this prelims im not aiming just to pass. i wanna get like, c and d or sth. but its like, i can forget bout it now.

im an idiot. im really an idiot. someone should just clobber me with a golf club and save me from this misery or something. cant believe i couldnt see it la. now i feel like mauling every person that comes near me. grf. omgyourethesweetestpersononearthandthouurfuckingmilesawayillstillstudyandallanddowellbutiwasseriouslydamnmoodyandemointheaftnniwishyouwerethereandnvmnomatterhowmuchiblabbericantseemtomakemyselffeelbetter.