act.imrelirelisad.butnoonenoes.cosidunwandemto.icanact.

i juz realised ppl can choose their reactions. there r 2 choices. either optimistic or pessimistic. juz hpns dat im usually in a pessimistic mood when i face.. stuff. so my reactions r hardly optimistic anymore. act. i dun even noe wad im sayin. yupp. i dun und myself. not anymore. anw. im glad some things hpned la. im tryin to b optimistic. ya. i finally opened up. n said some things. feels a little better. juz a little. cos b4 i fin u had to go crack a v lame joke. den no qing xu le. so i juz shuddap n lamed le. anw. dat jkml. she pyscho me to pon. n i finally convinced my mum. - she really said the dengue thg la.- den she come tell me she cnt decide cos if she pon den haf to do housework. n if i pon i haf to wake up at 9 n cook for my grandparents instead of they cook for me. wt.. hmm. so. decide later lorr. n finally tml no band. ahhas. but we still gotta deal with that dumb overloaded lib cupboard. tsk. eew la. create more thgs for us to do only. n no. i wun call him bald or sth. arghh. recently always in a bad mood. n im so easily pissed. i screamed at my sis n she actually shut up la. either miracle or sth. yaya. so. yah. im changin my reactions. i was kinda in a good mood the entire day la. until aft sch. hmm. not becos of band la. its cos of the usual thg dat has been buggin me the entire yr. n its not gonna stop until i grad. dats sad. so im changin dat point of view oso. to make my life less miserable. but i dunno how long it'll take. maybe never. see how lorr. yah. so. since i was in a ok mood den i didnt wanna feel dep la. so i din exactly write my entry in a sadistic way rite. yes. haha. i ans myself. wadever. y m i always actin lyk im in a gd mood when im in a bad mood. cos rite now im runnin away agn. haha. cos its v tiring la. to keep thinkin of the same stuffs without a soln or ans. its endless lorr. so since i cant solve it den i might as well act as if there isnt a prob at all. n when i cnt take it den i'll break down. n dat will b lyk. dunno when. but i'll deal when the tym comes. im ans myself agn. anw. i think its hard to b bu shuang at a person. i tried n always fail. sad la. anw. its betta to forgive n forget n live a hatred-free life rite? yes. ugh. im ans myself agn. hmm. yah lorr. anw. recently v suay. 1st my shoes. nxt. saliva. YUCK la. cos we were havin band. den we v pathetic all share 1 dumb container. den so hpn they push it ard n it ended up at the euph area. den janelle was walkin n she stepped into it. den the saliva all came spillin out. um. i mean splashin out. n no one except me n her were there. so the saliva splashed. on my legs n skirt. den we were both screamin. v AA. den the entire band was lyk. eeeeeeewww. or laughin away. or starin. n its lyk. its the trombones+frenchhorn+tuba+euph de saliva la. n its disgusting can. disgusting. hmm. anw. realised dat recently the sec 3s n 2s v aa in band. dat tym i was kb-ing cos of my shoe. den today gui yu oso screamin away abt her shoe. den stella was kb-ing oso cos of the saliva thg i think. n deb was aa abt my shoe n denise n stella juz screamed sth v suan back la. so kinda lyk a screamin match in the band room. lol. at least it was interesting. i duno. cos recently band reli v sian. so finally got sth to distract us lorr.

ihatethewaythgsrnw.ihateitdatpplthinkicanacceptit.costhefactisicnt.infactihateit.iwishicldchgmylife

butsinceicntijuzhaftoactlykimok.butitsok.cosreally.noonenoesimnotok.jolene'sanexception.

grey n green is nice.